Do you recognize this man?

In a great news story regarding my two loves in life, baseball and fried chicken, it seems the Japanese have recovered a stone statue of Colonel Sanders that had been submerged for 24 years. Per the associated press:

A statue of the KFC mascot has been found in a river in Osaka, a city official said Wednesday, nearly a quarter century after being tossed in by crazed baseball fans who felt the image of restaurant founder Harland Sanders resembled a key team member.

And if you think the Chicago Cubs curse of the goat is ridiculous, get a load of this:

Many fans feel the team has been plagued by the "curse of Colonel Sanders" since his effigy was submerged in 1985.

There are so, so many things running through my head right now...why is there a stone stature of the Colonel in Japan in the first place? Perhaps Stuart Mackenzie in So I Married An Axe murderer was right...could the Colonel be evil? And most importantly, how is he going to make that delicious, delicious chicken without hands?

Some Fake Coffee With Your Real News

Oooooooh, they’re calling out your name.

Two cups of McDonald’s iced coffee (BUY!) sit on the Fox 5 TV news desk, a punch-you-in-the-face product placement (BUY!) to chase down your morning news.

They’ve been on the Las Vegas station set for about two weeks, following the lead of a few TV stations across the country, and they’re still looking every bit as frosty and tantalizing (BUY!) as they were the first day you laid your eyes on them.

But wait, here’s the best part: They’re not real. . . .

via Las Vegas Sun